Archive for August, 2011

Inspiring- “The Optimist’s Creed ” By CD Larson

Optimism: a flying Pig

Promise Yourself:

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet
To make all your frens feel that there’s something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true
To think only the best, work only for the best, and to expect only the best
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own
To forget the mistakes of past and press onto greater achievements of future
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but in great deeds
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that is in YOU!!
—CD Larson

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beginnings and endings!!

20th August 2011
“Every music ends; but that’s no reason not to listen to music.” I read it in my twitter timeline sometime back and loved it instantly. This quote made me think, delve deeply in to the meaning and significance of two nouns: “beginnings and endings”. Of course, everything begins from a certain point and ends at the other. Some might say that nothing begins or ends; it is infact a continuous cycle. Well, i would love to agree with it but at 21, I still need to see more aspects of life to give away insightful thoughts and philosophies as spiritual leaders. Well, nothing might end or begin and everything in this universe might be some sort of cycle…but when you live all your life in tinny whimsy moments like I do; the endings and beginnings do matter. And when we live all these moments from our four chambers; every beginning and every ending leaves a deep impression or in latter case a scar in our hearts. But i guess, we cancerians are more prone to all these scars, than the rest zodiacs. The beginnings and endings, at this particular moment I am talking about is: Life and death.

I am no philosopher, but I know for a fact that people live and people die. And the dance of life continues through generations. This is not a new thing either. A dozen kids might be crying their way into this world from their mother’s womb, as I write, another dozen, leaving this very world. This beginning and ending of life sometimes makes me Continue reading

Understanding RAGE!!

“RAGE” i wonder how that originates!!! Does it start from our unconscious; deep within from our hidden dreams, unfulfilled desires or is the harsh reality, always tusseling with our principles, its mother?? I could just google and look more into psychoanalysis, google-baba would happily show me more than a million “sangrahit pratilipiharu”but right now, i need to understand this paricular rage inside me. This rage, my rage, is blinding my visions and slowing my thought process. This rage is shaking me from within; suffocating me; fuelling my anger; making me wanna say things, t wouldn’t otherwise; making me do things, i wouldnt do otherwise. I am trying to control it; gritting my teeth, trying to keep my mouth shut, thinking about this and that, trying to be optimistic, but i swear to god, its not working.

I am trying to understand it, this rage and I am trying to get to its roots. And i just don’t seem to get it. I don’t know what i am so mad at, pathetic isn’t it??I search for the reason again, its all dark,deep and dense down there. Too many instances, too many reasons, too many dissatisfactions seem to link, chain and form a collage; with the actual reason deep within in its core. And I just dont seem to reach it, just dont seem to get to the core.Grr.. Continue reading

For my bestie Grishma

“Strangers are just friends, waiting to happen.”,Someone said that a long time ago, and it still holds true for everyone.I had known Grishma Bajrachrya, for a long time, infact we were classmates since Grade 2, but not close enough to know the girl inside her. I got to know her better, on the summer of ’04 or the beginning of Grade 9. Its amazing how life gifts us with wonderful friends in the most wonderful way. Known her for almost 7 years earlier, and yet on that fateful day, we came closer to each other and became such amazing friends. A slight nod, a warm smile a short chitchat was all that was needed to plant the amazing seeds of our friendship. That Was indeed a fateful day, as if the whole cosmos with all the stars were labouring to bless me with the jewels of friends, because through the following recess, lunch and the end of the day, I had made strong and precious friends like Sabita and Krishna along with Grishma. That was the day when the strong thread of frienship worked its sweet miracles amongst the life of 7 of us, my precious Neelima, Grishma, Tika, Puja, Sabita and Krishna and bonded us permanently.

I am trying to describe my friendship with Grishma here but cannot find the exact words. The amazing friendship between us that is immortalized by the moments we shared in and outside the classes, still make me smile. The jokes we made, the names we created, the secrets we hushed over, the teasings, the stories we made, the gossips, the chatterings, the naughtiness and pranks and the sheer madness we shared nurtured the relationship. The sharing of tiffins and the mindless gigglings reared it further. The chatting in the assembly, the gatherings by the Girl’s toilet, the bonking of classes together to read novels; these moments are simply unforgettable. The love for books, the hunger to read more and the sheer insanity of Harry Potter was the strong similarities between us. We even used to compete on scribbling Daniel’s name anywhere and everywhere. I still remember that she even wrote it in her tie. Ahh, those insane, daniel crazy days!!!! A year flew by, and we were again separated in the next term. Yet, when i think of grade 10, in spite of the fact that we were all in different classes, the best moments are the ones i spent with these super girls. The gatheroings by the girls toilet, the pre assembly chatting, The bonking of classes made it possible. And also the eye conversations between the periods(from two separate rooms), the book sharings and paper chat in between the periods were the best. With Grishma, i even went to tuition classes together, and in those tution moments: the first encounter with Dan’s replica, the panipuri and Grishma’s mamagharko roti; unforgettable!

School ended, and we went to different colleges. But thanks to Graham Bell, Grishma and I were still together and updated on each other’s lives. The awkwardness never crept between us; we never missed out on each other. New college, new friends and yet our friendship remained intact. And still today, i know i can always count on her.

Grishma is simply amazing! During school, we even shared the same likes and dislikes. The strongest like between us was undoubtedly Harry Potter and dislikes starting from Jaljala, goes onto make a long list. Our opinions were also quite similar, though she is and always have been stronger than me. The Grishma, i know, is the chubby, frank, funny girl who has got this unpredictable monkey inside her. She’s what she is, no pretense. She doesn’t need to please anyone but effortlessly pleases eveyone. And she can make friends. She has so many friends, anywhere and everywhere ,that at times it make me wonder, how on earth does she remember everyone! But at making friends and keeping them is the best side of Grishma Bajracharya. She can remember each and every thing of her friends and to my amazement, even of the strangers. She can even tell what a passing stranger had worn last tuesday? 🙂

Grishma and I share more than frienship- we share the bond of sisterhood. She is the one who knew the real me, in such a short time, she found me and she brought the devil side inside me. I will never forget the naughty pranks she put me up; Neelima advising me against it and Grishma encouraging me for it; like the good angel and the naughty devil present in every mind. I ended up listening to the naughty devil and even the good angel enjoyed it.She understands me, my happiness, my sorrows; my silences, my confessions; my mood sways and my secrets. She knows my constant dillema, my weaknesses, my beliefs and my strengths. She accepts me with all my virtue nad vice and never judges me. She accepts me the way i am.

I know, that this beautiful friendship will never end; it will bloom and blossom in the further years. I love you, Grishma Bajracharya and i want you to know that you are an important part of my life, an important side to me. I want you to be you always, happy,smiling, and making the world around you happy with that careful smile of yours and be there with me throughout. Happy Birthday Dear!

A silent understanding:)

I am doing the dishes;

Lifehouse is playing in the background;

I am lost in the “everything”;

And you come around hesitating;

Give that smile of yours;

Meekly , slowly talk about others;

I can read your mind ;

I know what is going inside;

But still you talk about this and that;

Without giving the issue a start;

Tell me “Fuchii, did you like the photo?”

I laugh inside and say “of course, it is awesome keto”

And we again talk this and that; here and there;

Never uttering  a word, into facebook you disappear;

I am you sister, been with you for 17 years;

I understand all the meanings of your smiles, needs and tears;

I love you so much Babu, so much so;

And you love me too, without much ado;

Neither do you need to tell me that nor do I;

That we are siblings cum friends cum soulmates, dear bhai;

I know “Thankyou”s and “I love you”s, you will never say;

But the love and trust don’t need them, they always stay;

And then I reach the office, open fb and guess what I see;

Something that knew without your saying , a wallpost  “thankss Fuchhii”!!!

Unrequited love:/

I love him, I love him so much,

but it’s impossible

because he’s the sun; shining high

warming us all and illuminating the sky

while I am nothing, but a speck of dust

lying on a road, wasted and utterly lost.

I need him, I need him so much,

but it’s impossible

because he is the joy, brilliantly true

lightening up a million faces with his warm hue

while i am nothing, but a fallen tear

borne from hopelessness, pain and unspoken fear.

I want him, I want him so much

but it’s impossible

because he is the song, melodious and pacifying to all

sung from within, from the very soul

while I am nothing, but a wretched noise

like the screech of nail on the metal, despicable as it annoys.

So it’s necessary to keep my feelings unknown

dear heart, you’ll be disguised and never shown

I’ll ignore him, lie to him and pretend

because staying away from him is what i intend

So, I’ll smile, fake and hide the pain

I’ll act nonchalant again and again

I ache, dear heart, when I hear him talk about the other girl,

it really hurts, I burn, I bleed and I tumble

deep down into unworthiness and self-hatred

it’s very difficult and I want the pain to end

So, even if i suffer, I’ll have to magnify the distance

its for our own good, dear heart, listen to me at least for once