Remembering Ram Mama..

1st July 2012
Some people have a way of touching lives; blessing others with their presence. These people need not be magicians or superheroes…. simple day to day people; who transform lives with their simple acts of kindness; concern and immeasurable care. Sometimes, a mere sense of justice in them can cause a drastic change in others lives. They can be your one of you kith and kin; a friend, a mentor, your boss or a mere stranger. And they are essentially always normal people; day to day human beings.
Today is my mama’s 3rd death anniversary and I am sitting alone in Sri Lanka, remembering him. My mother’s brother, my Ram mama was a simple human being with a family and two daughters; he owned a shop and he smoked and drank as well. But then whenever we had problems, he was always the first one to come to our rescue. Whenever my mother got worried, he was the one she would go to. May it be a mere tiff within my parents or some grave lurches; my mama was always the one to hold us all. And it was not only us; my other aunts, other relatives; some richer than him …all of them, when needed help would turn to him. It was not about money or power; it was about empathy; about love. He could feel our pains like nobody else did and even if he couldn’t help, he would find some way, find others who could. When I was small, he had once caught serious jaundice. He got hospitalized and we were very close to losing him. But then thanks to all the prayers and wishes, he miraculously recovered. He had stopped smoking since then. In the added lifetime, he kept on doing what he did. He never said anything to others, never asked for anything back; never even pampered us. He had his own ways of showing his care. I remember, once it was his daughter (my cousin)’s birthday and I was invited for the annual night party. I was returning from my college and it had rained. I had my umbrella so I reached there anyways. Upon reaching their, my other mama asked me if how I hadn’t met Ram Mama on the way. ”He went to fetch you with umbrella; he was scared you would get wet and sick, since you are always getting sick.” Later, he came back. He had carried an umbrella for me but hadn’t bothered to take his raincoat and while searching for me on his motorcycle; had managed to get drenched completely.
You don’t say I love you every time to people you love. It is not needed. But then, when you don’t get to say it ever again, you always wish you had said. 3 years ago, it was a Saturday morning; he had left for his morning walk. He was completely fine but then never returned back. My cousin, his daughter had got a call from some stranger saying he was unconscious, they had rushed him to hospital and the doctors declared that he had reached hospital late by 15 minutes. A case of Heart attack! We got calls that he had fallen down, my mother was hysterical because her father (my grandfather) also had a similar death. I was down with fever then.
It took days to actually absorb the fact that he is not coming back, so sudden was the misfortune. I had last seen him at someone’s wedding; I don’t even remember whose. After his death, so many people mourned for him. So many strangers came, people even his wife (my maiju) didn’t know but he had managed to help in one way or the other. I still haven’t forgiven God for his injustice, for taking good people like that without any notice. I keep praying to keep Maiju and my cousins strong; a part of me also wonders if it was god’s kind way of appreciating his work; his easy death; an easy passage because of all the good things he had done in his life; since it is always death and sufferings we fear in all our lives. But I know wherever he is now, it must be a nice place; probably somewhere like heaven. He deserves it.
People like my mama hold up my belief in God and miracles. You see, I believe God doesn’t act on his own; he works with people through people, people like Ram Mama; creating miracles, changing lives. I am blessed to have so many good people around me, people like my grandmother-who have been my second parents; my other relatives- who have always helped us in many ways; my teachers from my school- Bhakti Sir, Sudarshan Sir and Prabha Maam-who have taught me how to believe in myself ; my seniors and fellow activists at work – who have always inspired me to work harder; My boss-Pankaj daii, who gave me a much-needed push to get me out of my comfort zone and sign up for Sri Lanka; My friends- who have always listened to my banters and kick started me when I needed one; and even here in Sri Lanka, my Akki and my co-supervisors, who have been my home away from home. Life becomes good when you have such good people around you. Miracles happen daily and it is a blessing. I have my own set of guardian angels and my mama, along with these heroes, tops the charts. But when my mama left (like my grandmother), he left a hole, a gap something that never gets filled again. But these good people, these guardian angels always inspire us to at least try doing what they did so effortlessly. They make me want to pass the good deeds on, reminds me that I should also try to understand the people around me; know them and love them so that I can understand their silent needs, tears and grief and help them in every way I can. That is the only way how I can actually express my gratitude to be blessed with such amazing people in my life. Pass the cart of good deeds on .. keep it rolling from people to people. Keep making faces happy, that is what I believe in doing!! Thanks to my mama and my other guardian angels.

    • bansuri
    • July 1st, 2012

    The loss of someone you love is truly an inexplicable feeling. Nothing teaches you better, according to me, the temporary, fleeting nature of the life we are living.
    I’m sure your Mama will always be watching over you.

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mama sounds like he was a great man.

  2. he was..for us

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