A note to self!
18 July 2022
It hurts, but that’s exactly what they want. These toxic people want to hurt you- they want you to feel ignored and helpless. When you seek their help- no matter how infrequent and trivial it is- it boosts their ego. They don’t want to help though, and they will do as much as they can to ignore you. Even if they do help you, they will make sure they exaggerate it in front of others and invalidate your capability. Even when you try to help them or give suggestions genuinely, they will invalidate it (cause it simply hurts their ego), even if they later have to follow the same suggestion.
They treat you unfairly because they want you to ask yourself- “why am I treated like this?” They will keep being unfair so that you feel wretched. Haven’t you noticed enough- that every time, when things seem to be going well – they are bothered and start picking up new issues to bother you with? Petty issues, big issues, issues that aren’t even related with you- all kinds of issues. If they don’t find any issue, they will try to act extra nice to others (in front of you) and deliberately treat you like an outsider so that you feel bad. They will exclude you. They will exclude you – in tasks, while sharing information and even miss you out in small occasions. They will praise others in front of you and try to make you jealous, just so that they can mess with your head. They will try to hide others’ flaws and shift all the blame on you. They will try to give credits, for tasks that you do, to others who didn’t do a thing (in front of you) to invalidate your efforts. Else they will anyhow try to create conflict- between you and your support system- so that you feel estranged, you become unhappy, and you suffer.
DON’T LET THEM. Don’t let their pettiness bother you. Don’t react to their toxicity. Wear their insults like an armor- it will protect you from future hurt, if you wear it. Don’t ask ‘why’ to the things you cannot change- no matter how much you try. Accept people as they are and accept that you cannot change others. That person doesn’t need to like you. Make peace with that fact. Its unfair, yes it is. However, there is no point banging your head against the wall and shouting its unfair. You cannot change these toxic people. They will always find flaws with you because first -they cannot control you and second- a little part of them does wish that they could be you. When you accept that and rise above complaining, it will not bother you anymore. Know and hold this truth. Your truth is your fortress.
Communicate with your allies. Being open, clear and truthful with your support system and not giving these toxic people any opportunity to wedge in is important. Even if they manage to butt in, hold your truth. That is the only thing you can do.
When you stop pleasing, caring about what these toxic people think or stop expecting support and fairness from them, it will give you another kind of freedom, energy and confidence. That freedom will be the air beneath your wings. That confidence will shield you from their insults and negativity. That energy will lift you up. So, do not let their negativity and their pettiness get to you. If you let them affect you- you will let them win. These kinds of toxic people simply don’t want you to be happy. When you are happy- it burns them, pains them so they do everything in their power to hurt you and pain you back. Useless , isn’t it? Do not let these people get this wrong satisfaction.
Ignore them and be so happy- that they are perpetually jealous. Shine so bright, that they have to squint their eyes while trying to point your supposed flaws. Be so great, that they will always have to invent a reason to backbite about you in envy. This will be your true win. Your peace of mind is definitely important. You need to know that you are above them – above their pettiness, above their insults and above their ill power. Don’t stoop down to their level and wish them ill. You are and will always be better than them.
Remember, karma! The way you sow will determine the way you reap. Let Karma handle them and their actions. Mind your own karma, your own integrity, and your own peace of mind. You can always walk away from their pettiness. You always have that choice- but walk away not because they are making you or you cannot handle their toxicity anymore. That would be reactive. Walk away when you want to, walk away because you can. Till then- choose to ignore them, find your inner peace, focus your mind on your priorities and protect your integrity.
kritysh 
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